“itoapologize,”ralphntinued,notquiteknowingecurious
instinselfirrevocably,
andtopreventthentofinticyfroassing
“ithinkivetreatedyouverybadlythatis,ivetoldyouliesdidyouguessthatioyouonceinlinlns
innfieldsandagaintodayonouraliar,ry
didyouknoe”
“ithinkido,”shesaid
atthispointtheerchangedtheirplates
“itstrueidonterica,”hesaid,
lookingfixedlyatthetableyfeelings
totobeutterlyanddaablybad,”he
saidenergetically,althoughforcedtokeephisvoicelow“ifiaselfishbeastishouldtellyoutohave
nothingretodoeandyet,ry,inspiteof
thefactthatibelievesaying,ialsobelieve
thatitsgoodhertheworld
beingitis,yousee”andbyanodofhisheadhe
indi,“for,ofurse,
inanidealstateofthings,inadecentnityeven,196
virginiawoolf
theresnodoubtyoushouldnthaveanythingtodohseriously,thatis”
“youforgetthatiotanidealcharacter,either,”saidry,inthesalotones,h,
inspiteofbeingalstinaudible,surroundedtheirtableosphereofncentratione
perceptibletotheotherdiners,now
andthenixtureofkindness,asent,
andcuriosity
“iuworldlya
littlerethanyouthink,anyhowilikebossingthingsperhapsthatsgreatestfaultivenoneofyourpassionfor”hereshehesitated,andglancedathiasiftoascertainhispassionhe
truth,”sheadded,asifshehadfoundshesoughtindisputably
“ivetoldyouiliar,”ralphrepeatedobstinately“oh,inlittlethings,idaresay,”shesaidiatiently“butnotinrealones,andthatsattersidaresayioretruthfulthanyouareinslliuld
nevercare”sheofindherselfspeaking
theoforceherselftospeakitout”for
anyonehathetrutha
ountbutnotinthe
einaudible,and
tears
“goodheavens”ralphexself“sheloves
beforeshesgoingtocry;no,
butshecantspeak”
thesothathescarcelyknew
hehebloodrushedtohischeeks,and
althoughhehadquitedeuphisndtoaskherto
rryhitheseedto
changethesituationsopletelythatheuldnotdoithedidnotdaretolookatherifshecried,hedidnotknoedtohihatsothing
ofaterribleanddevastatingnaturehadhappenedtheore
inhisagitationralphrose,tuedhisbaary,
andlookedoutofthehestreet
seedtohinlyadissolvingandbiningpatte
ofblackparticles;ont,represented
197
nightandday
veryheinvoluntaryprocessionoffeelingsandthoughtsedanddissolvedinrapidsuccessioninhisoindatonentheexultedinthethought
thatrylovedhiatthenext,itseedthathewas
noarryheratonce;noodisappear
andneverseeheragaininordertontrolthisdisorderlyraselftoreadthena
onthe;thentoexane
theobjectsintheshophentofocus
hiseyesexactlyuponalittlegroupofenlookinginatthegreathis
disciplinehavinggivenhitleastasuperficialntrolofhielf,hetotuandasktheerto
bringthebill,byatallfigure
entatallfigure,
upright,dark,andnding,chdetachedfrobr >hersurroundingssheheldherglovesinherlefthand,andthelefthandhisralphnoticedand
enuratedandregnizedbeforeheputanatothe
edtobelookingfor
sobodyhereyes,infact,scannedbothsidesofthestreet,andforonesendlytothe
boood;butshelookedaway
againinstantlyhoutgivinganysignthatshehadseenhithissuddenapparitionhadanextraordinaryeffectuponhiithoughtofhersointensely
thathisndhadfordtheshapeofher,ratherthanthathehadseenherinthefleshoutsideinthestreetandyethehadnotbeenthinkingofheratalltheiressionissit,nor
eventhinkerelyigined
herhesatdoonce,andsaid,brieflyandstrangely,rathertohielfthantory:
“thatharinehilbery”
“katharinehilberyean”sheasked,
hardlyunderstandingfroisnnerherhehad
seenheroot
“katharinehilbery,”herepeated“butshesgonenow”“katharinehilbery”rythought,inaninstantofblindingrevelation;“ivealharine
hilbery”shekneallnow
198
virginiawoolf
afterantofdostupor,sheraisedhereyes,
lookedsteadilyatralph,andcaughthisfixedanddreagazeleveledatapointfarbeyondtheirsurroundings,apointthatshehadneverreachedinallthetithatshehadknoshenoticedthelipsjustparted,the
fingerslooselyclenched,theplation,
shenoticed
everythingabouthiiftherehadbeenothersignsofhisutteralienationsheout,
too,forshefeltthatitruth
uponanotherthatsheuldkeepherselfsittingthere,uprightthetruthseedtosupporther;itstruckher,evenasshelookedathisface,thatthelightoftruthwasshiningfarthelightoftruth,she
seedtofratheogo,shinesona
ities
ralphhandedherheratandhersti,
fastenedtheatsecurely,graspedthestickfirytheivysprayilltedaboutthehandle;thisone
saigh
